GBGames

The Illusion of Gaia was not exactly a popular game, but I loved it. I rented it, but after my three days (remember when you could only rent from Blockbuster for three days?!?) were up, I went out and bought it.

It even came with a free shirt, which I recently had framed.

A part that stood out in my mind was the raft.

At one point, the main character and Kara, the lead female character, are stranded on a makeshift raft. Unlike most video games, the point wasn’t to get off the raft. After all, you’re stranded. You can’t go anywhere. It is just you, the girl, the raft, and ocean as far as the eye can see. Most games would have you try to swim out to some secret area, or catch a ride on some passing dolphins, or something.

But you were stranded. And you wait. Maybe someone will save you?

At one point, there are fish jumping out of the water. When you hit them, she gets upset. She’s a vegetarian, you see. How could you hurt those innocent fish? I don’t remember if I felt guilty or annoyed at the time. All I know is that the scene changed. Actually, it was just another day on the raft. Another day of waiting.

On the other hand, you’re starving. She’s starving. As brutish as she thinks it is, maybe eating fish is ok because it is necessary? Ben Franklin was a vegetarian, but even he agreed that if it was ok for the fish to eat each other, it should be ok for him to eat them. So you eat.

And then the sharks came. They circled the raft. She freaked out. You’re ready for anything at this point. But they just leave. The sharks leave. When you think about it, the sharks would only attack if they were hungry. It gets you thinking about how humankind treats animals.

Unfortunately, you don’t have too much time to think about what happened. One day, your character faints. After your rescue, you later learn he had scurvy.

The scene lasted for 28 days. In real time it is of course only a few minutes, but for 28 days you are stuck on a raft. There wasn’t much to do, of course. What would you do if you were drifting in the ocean with nothing? You could only think. So I thought. I wasn’t just reading about someone else thinking. I wasn’t watching someone else in despair. I was there.

Apparently most people hated this scene. They wanted to get to the action, I suppose. I liked it. If anything, this scene is the one that shows what games are capable of becoming.

The following is what happens when I get sick and can’t do much else with my time. Some parts could have been better, but try to enjoy it. It was just something fun, but singing it might get tricky at parts. If someone thinks they can also make a Flash animation to go with it, go for it. B-)

The Indie Showdown of Indie Destiny
A parody based on the better written The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny which you might want to see first before reading the rest.

The old creature named Wik was hopping around
the magical forest like a big playground
when a Darwinian squad burst out of the shade
and hit poor Wik with the squad’s grenade.
Well Wik got pissed and began his attacks
but was blocked by the research physicist Max
who was about to serve a multidimensional dish
before he got distracted by the oil blob Gish

And Gish starting cracking Max’s hips
When they both got punched by Grace and Trip
But before they could return to their old apartment
a Zombie Smasher Punker jumps out from their basement
and using a zombie Nazi’s arms like a bat
he proceeded to beat them, just like that,
but his bat broke and he ran away
and an alien hominid tried to save the day.

This is the Indie Showdown of Indie Destiny.
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see,
and only one will survive. I wonder who it will be?
This is the Indie Showdown of Indie Destiny.

So Wik jumps down and eats the alien’s gun
and Laser Dolphin ain’t having much fun
and then Max came back hobbling on his cane
but the ninja N jumped out and stole it away
and the squad turned around, trying to aim steady
when Punker came back, this time ready
but suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
He didn’t see the resourceful tongue of ol’ Wik

but the squad did see him, and they checked their sights
but Beethro and Halph pulled down all their tights
and in the confusion they threw their grenades and they missed
but N just blocked them with both of his fists
then he jumped in the air and fell and cried
when Punker headbutt him in the side.
They both fell down, and when they got entangled
Dark Elf Feyna arrived, and they were strangled.

This is the Indie Showdown of Indie Destiny.
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see,
and only one will survive. I wonder who it will be?
This is the Indie Showdown of Indie Destiny.

There was a great white light, and everyone wondered why
as Super Dudester descended from the sky.
He swung his arm wildly and gave a kick
and hit the face of poor ol’ Wik
who fell to the ground, writhing in pain
as Punker summoned an Uzi and Max recovered his cane
but Super Dudester saw them and did not fret
for he simply sang out and both of them wept.

Then in came Thomas and his magical words,
and Petey and Patty joined the hordes
and armed with tanks by the Federated States
came Wednesday the Witch, Glow Worm, and their mates
Professor Fizzwizzle, the Vikings, the Natives,
the Rumble Box fighters and the barbarian invaders.
And the Red Texas Four arrived from space
with the battle-ready Damocles for a taste
of a fight with the Dudester who for the first time
was the one with tears falling from his eyes.
It was the bloodiest battle the indie world ever saw
and indiegamer forum posters looked on in awe

and the fight raged on for a century
many lives were claimed, but eventually
the champion stood on the body piles
There was a yellow Chuzzle, blinking his eyes.

This is the Indie Showdown of Indie Destiny.
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see,
and only one will survive. I wonder who it will be?
This is the Indie Showdown…
This is the Indie Showdown…
This is the Indie Showdown of Indie Destiny.