I Hate Being Sick

I somehow came down with something yesterday. I woke up, my throat was sore, I got to work, spent the entire day feeling slightly warm, then got really warm and felt terrible on the train ride home.

I ate some dinner, drank some water, and went to bed. So much for Development Night.

Of course, I was so sick that I couldn’t just fall asleep. I needed to sleep, but I guess my breathing was weird. My heart was beating pretty fast for being stationary. Eventually I did fall asleep, but now I’m wide awake, it’s 10:45PM, and while I’m feeling a bit better, I feel like crap for not being able to sleep AGAIN.

Oddly enough, while I was waiting to go to sleep, shivering in bed because I was so warm and my room is above a garage, I kept having delusions about how my game business was going to work. I imagined what it would be like to have a FAQ that talks about my company. I imagined that GBGames was a lousy name and that I was working on a new one. I imagined talking about how much more trust my business model put in the customer compared to say Sony or Valve: “No DRM here!” I imagined talking to other developers, and I was actually a role model for a number of them. I was a serious competitor to a lot of businesses as well.

I had a number of other images, and I am upset because I would have loved to write all of them down, but every time I became conscious of them, I would immediately forget. It was like I was dreaming, realized it, woke up because I had to breathe (stupid stuffy nose), and forget the important points.

I hate being sick, but I really got excited thinking about the near future. I smiled despite the crappy way I felt. I actually dreamed about the success I was going to have.

Now to make an action plan to make it into a reality.

I’m writing this still feeling a bit sick, so hopefully it isn’t too rambly. I’m just awake enough that I can’t lie in bed anymore, sick enough that I can’t do too much, and my back still hurts enough that I can’t sit up and read a book.

6 comments to I Hate Being Sick

  • Action

    Those are inspiring visions.

    Keep imagining them and you’ll be on your way. Make a plan once you get better…post it on this blog for feedback 🙂

  • Yeah I think alot about my future when I am trying to sleep or have just woken up. Normally though it is anxiety inducing things like “will I ever get this game finished before the shareware market crashes” .. heh.

    That is normally while going to sleep.

    On waking I sometimes (quite often lately) have very inspiring thoughts, or even game concepts which “come out of the blue” and I can visualise them and run them through a simulation in my head. I write every idea down in a book in case I can use some element of them in a future game.

    So I have both the worries/doubts and the excitment of the possibilities. Normally when I am too tired to really work, but can not sleep I get frustrated because I can see a “clear roadmap” of what needs doing but just don’t have the energy. Just the other night I finally (and firmly) set my mind on my development roadmap between now and september next year. I know what I need to do, I am sure what I am doing is worthwhile and “somewhat innovative” while not being overly complex that I will never finish it.

    As for near future excitment.. I plan all of next year to be my “near future” and yes I am sure it will be enjoyable just putting everything I plan into practice.. I just hope I have the energy and can keep procrastination to a minimum.

    Sorry to hear you are sick at the moment, Hope you get better soon! 🙂

  • Thanks! I hope I do too!

    I’m taking today off work, which stinks because I already missed most of last week due to my strained lumbar. Hopefully I can get some good reading done and flesh out a few of my plans.

  • I share your misery.

    Fortunately, I came down with my cold Sunday night, so it didn’t interfere with Thanksgiving. I wish I could have been a wee bit more productive over the two days I took off of work, but I felt miserable and rested a bit. I did get some stuff done, though.

    And acting on those little dreams or visions – man, that’s a third of the battle. Once you envision it and can SEE / TASTE it — then it’s a matter of putting together a plan and executing. I think I’m still suffering a little bit from a faded vision on my own — I’m having a tough time deciding, “Where is my company going to be a year from now? Three years from now?” It’s tough when you have to balance the long-term goals with short-term requirements and choose the better of two desireable goals in the first place.

    Anyway, good luck! Hope you are feeling better now!

  • I’m actually feeling well enough to work a bit on my 1 year business plan, or at least work on it for a bit. It’s amazing the number of details that haven’t entered my mind, but it is kind of cool thinking about them. It’s like rolling out a blanket, squishing down all of the wrinkles as I find them. It can be tough, especially when I feel like I don’t know what I am doing, but I’m learning more by writing down some part of the plan. I’ll find out soon enough if I am wrong, and I’ll update the business plan then.

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