I somehow came down with something yesterday. I woke up, my throat was sore, I got to work, spent the entire day feeling slightly warm, then got really warm and felt terrible on the train ride home.
I ate some dinner, drank some water, and went to bed. So much for Development Night.
Of course, I was so sick that I couldn’t just fall asleep. I needed to sleep, but I guess my breathing was weird. My heart was beating pretty fast for being stationary. Eventually I did fall asleep, but now I’m wide awake, it’s 10:45PM, and while I’m feeling a bit better, I feel like crap for not being able to sleep AGAIN.
Oddly enough, while I was waiting to go to sleep, shivering in bed because I was so warm and my room is above a garage, I kept having delusions about how my game business was going to work. I imagined what it would be like to have a FAQ that talks about my company. I imagined that GBGames was a lousy name and that I was working on a new one. I imagined talking about how much more trust my business model put in the customer compared to say Sony or Valve: “No DRM here!” I imagined talking to other developers, and I was actually a role model for a number of them. I was a serious competitor to a lot of businesses as well.
I had a number of other images, and I am upset because I would have loved to write all of them down, but every time I became conscious of them, I would immediately forget. It was like I was dreaming, realized it, woke up because I had to breathe (stupid stuffy nose), and forget the important points.
I hate being sick, but I really got excited thinking about the near future. I smiled despite the crappy way I felt. I actually dreamed about the success I was going to have.
Now to make an action plan to make it into a reality.
I’m writing this still feeling a bit sick, so hopefully it isn’t too rambly. I’m just awake enough that I can’t lie in bed anymore, sick enough that I can’t do too much, and my back still hurts enough that I can’t sit up and read a book.