What Happened to my Productivity?!?

It’s April 19th. The Chicago Indie Game Developer meeting is in less than six days. My goals for this month were to continue programming for 5 hours per week and to complete a simple game. While the month isn’t over yet, I haven’t accomplished these goals at all.

Last month was great. I programmed. I learned how to use Kyra. I learned a lot.

This month, I hit a stumbling block right away when my video card needed to be replaced. I also spent some time updating my resume to look for a full-time job. I have a couple of game reviews to do for Game Tunnel. Still, if I claim that all of these things prevented me from accomplishing my goals, I’d be lying to myself. My computer was back up and running within a few days of the problem. I didn’t spend more than a few hours total over a week on my resume. And I haven’t been playing the games too much either.

So where did my time go? Actually, the more accurate question is, “How did I squander my time?” How did I let an hour or two go by without at least doing something for a few minutes that is related to my goals? Even if it was an overwhelming amount to do, which is certainly not the case, at least ONE thing could get completed, right?

This past week I’ve been in a funk because I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything at all. My game review is overdue, my job search hasn’t really started yet, and I haven’t coded anything since I reinstalled. It doesn’t help at all that I may be getting sick as well. I’m feeling stressed and worried, which wastes my energy, which only serves to make me feel more stressed and worried.

So April is a bust.

Or is it?

While I can’t do anything about the delays at the beginning of the month, I’m allowed to reset my goals. Clearly I failed in programming for the past three weeks, but nothing prevents me from doing so for this week. I haven’t created the game, but nothing prevents me from trying to make a simple game in less than a week. It’s been done before, and I’ve already mentioned my intent to participate in my own Game in a Day. Perhaps I won’t finish the game. But attempting to do so puts me in a better position than where I am currently, so that’s reason enough for me.

Nothing prevents me from accomplishing my goals. Except me.

Look at that. My stress is gone. It’s been replaced with resolve. Fancy that.

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